Grass is Greener..

To be or not to be ?

2011-10-19T13:41:00.000-04:00

Quite cliched as the post title may be, I revisit the question applied to my indecision on morality and the action of abiding by the law. I am still stuck in the quandary as to whether the answer has to be so binary or is there really an optimal solution to the question of being ethical. Neglecting the correctness of Hazare and his army's movement towards political purging, I pose the question to myself : Should I fight till death to stave off corruption from my life, no matter how ugly the situation is, or is it reasonable to try very hard till it gets to the point of seeming unpragmatic and foolish? Alternatively choose the other extreme path of rejecting integrity by reasoning that the system is so corrupt that irrespective of my behavior, all my contributions would either way end up filling the personal coffers of the evil rulers.

At the risk of omitting deviations, my past has been substantially corruption free, whether it was school, work or for that matter, while obtaining a driving license or my passport, which are quite rampant corruption-free-free areas. Substantial, but not altogether. I have on an occasion or two doled out extra dough to the brokers to acquire reserved train tickets or movie tickets which we commonly call 'in black'. I accept that my confession does not make me any more virtuous. However, I take the initiative to pledge for the future. The question of whether corruption (pertinent to country like India) is avoidable still remains? To that, after much deliberation and a defeated idealist argument, I feel the answer is 'largely: yes; entirely : (muffled) no'.

While sounding highly opinionated, I reject the defense on the lack of self-integrity by individuals who point their finger at the governing system, without practicing at home. The aim of embracing corruption is to illegitimately increase personal wealth or to use that wealth to bend rules to your advantage/luxury. And I believe strongly that, with such a mentality, irrespective of the location in the world and the degree of muck in the system, one would if one could. I conclude this post with an open ended question, if absolute cleanliness is utopian, what is the optimum? Where do we draw the line if such attributes are highly subjective?

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On a separate note, I refuse to be a part of the facebook frenzy of echoing news already evident. Earnest actions have demonstrated the potential to overturn Governments (hail Wael), but more often than not it is quite convenient to participate in a virtual rally than join a physical movement. I understand your love-hate sentiments for the Indian cricket team, your veneration for Steve Jobs, or the hatred for the Late Mr.Osama-bin-Laden, and above all, the right and freedom of expression, I can only be thankful to Zuck for collapsing similar content in the recent update.

Boy am I glad to be back in blogosphere :D

The Irony called choice..

2011-05-10T21:58:00.000-04:00

Despite keeping myself busy being lazy, of late, I try and tally the woes my life has handed me .... actually shoved down my throat. To avoid the depression, I have made failed attempts to glorify my position by watching disturbing documentaries, with an intent to justify, how well off I actually am. For that matter, I do feel like an asshole, cribbing about quite a regular life most people live. Waking up early, dealing with impossible people, eating shitty food, watch intolerable shows and sleep uncomfortably to wake up exhausted into the vicious cycle.

Winding back to history, ever since I wanted something badly for myself, not counting food cravings, I see how betrayed I always have been. So what if it was this close. But not there. Let's see, where to begin. I wanted to be none other than an IITian. I settled for something lesser. I wanted a high paying comfortable job. Instead I survived a blue collared traveling site job. Yeah !! Right under the South Indian sun. I hoped I would be in Virginia Tech. Par Rutgers hi sahi. To set things right the second time, I prepared a resume for a great job. I would repeat in my mind every time I hit 'Submit', "Consulting..Aaathoo". Billions of blue blistering barnacles if you are guessing where I am now.

Notwithstanding the reverse gear I have had to start the chapters of my life with, to my delight, I have been able to park quite in the spot. I had a fun-filled awesome college life, a truly learning 'experience', and a super-lethargic extended grad school life. Despite my ingrained hatred for big-mouthed, money guzzling consultants who re-state the obvious, I am one of them. Purely in my defense, with all honesty, I am thankfully spared from having to be a stereotype. I will pause at that before making any more judgments on my profession.

The statistics of my life, though obviously untrustworthy, have been uncannily consistent. May be, they are a coincidence, may be I tend to trend, or may be, simply, I aspire for a wee bit too much. Staying in the context, I don't think it would be too bad to aspire for a Megan Fox and settling for small town southern blondie instead.

The beginning of the end..

2010-12-14T00:13:00.000-05:00

I do not know if anyone does, but even though I am enjoying a moment, at the back of my head I regret that this moment is passing by. Lets hypothesize, I finally acquire an abundant supply of the dish I have been craving for, and relish the unearthly pleasure, at the first bite, I still regret that with every progressive bite, my marginal utility is diminishing. It goes on till the point I stuff myself and regret that I ever craved. Till the vicious cycle begins again. (Perhaps why my buffet philosophy, contrary to a-la-carte philosophy, is to eat the best item first, and as quickly as possible).

This kind of takes me back to my previous post. At this moment, when after millions of explanations to thousands of people about my prolonged education, I have made it to the point where, if questioned, can give a definitive date of my MS defense, I look back and see how, just yesterday I arrived to the US of A, as a naive international student, one that can be identified from a mile away, from their attire, curious amazed eyes, empty pockets as a FOB. And here I am, standing as if those 3.5 years just zoomed past. My admiration of the surroundings, people, even the buses has diminished with acquaintance. But yet again, as my wonderful student life comes to an end, I regret the crossover to the professional life, and ask myself yet again, exactly as I did 5.5 years back at the end of my UG, "Will I ever live these golden times again? Will I ever be a student again?"

With age, the probability of the answer being "No" is obviously higher. Firstly, in the future, the bonding I develop with my peers will obviously not be the same. Secondly, I can see myself getting wiser everyday, but see it otherwise as far as smartness goes. I regret again the irreversibility of time, and take as a consolation that things will be good, if not better in the future. I take this moment to thank all the wonderful people I have met, lived with, during the glory days of schooling, undegrad and grad life, for having made my memories the way they are : memorable. I would be delighted if we could organize a reunion, at the exact same place with the exact same people doing the exact same thing. However, we are not the same. Cheers people !! Carpe Diem !!

The return...

2010-11-21T09:05:00.000-05:00

I am back to blogging. And this time the break was legitimate. My head was clouded with uncertainties about my future, but some ray of hope has been able to disperse the fog. Fearing that I might have partially lost some penning skills I am going to keep this short and sweet about three independent thoughts.

People love music because it soothing, relaxing, entertaining blah blah blah. But there is one more reason I love music. Certain albums, songs or even jingles are associated with discrete moments of my life. Almost all of them happy. Often, a particular tune flashes me with memories of some particular event of my lifetime. There has never been two moments attached to one song, and neither are two songs related to one event. It is strictly a one-to-one mapping. Not only for the reason that these memories were pleasant, and are probably to stay forever, they are one of my ways to keep track of my life's timeline. If you were to ask, "Guess which year did he or she get married", my search engine uses powerful algorithms to track back to the song associated with the nearest memory, and inter/extrapolates the query with the music release year.

I am a facebook fan, alright. Not sure there is a way to actually become a 'fan' of facebook on facebook. However, I always knew it could be an excellent way to analyze trends, statistically. There are occasions when people have done that too, which I gather from posts. It is for its own reasons, a trendsetter, brilliant and many a time, ridiculous. I shall concentrate on my latter judgement. I agree, resharing does increase visibility of interesting articles (and of course if you are really trying, yourself), but come on people, do you really need to reiterate game results, announce movie climaxes and worst of all acquire hobbies. I observe, statistically, that photography is every other person's hobby (quite a blow to my knowledge from introductions in middle school, wherein I ranked stamp collection and reading as the bestsellers). There is no doubt technology has given way to cheaper cameras, inexpensive storing and processing of images, actually or artificially, and with practice or by sheer chance, you will eventually click some amazing shots. But till you do so, it is not absolutely necessary to show off your camera (whose functionality and versatility people barely know or care to read) skills or the lack thereof, publicly on facebook.

Lastly, if you are aware of South Park's Captain Hindsight, this is about how he is a close resemblance, in most cases, and with no offense to anybody in particular, women. I do not like when I am forced to acknowledge, repeatedly, that I was wrong. All's well with 'history repeats itself' and one should 'learn from past mistakes' crap, but the damage's done, and if it cannot be reversed, kindly stop whining and ranting about it. Women are excellent in reminding how and where you went wrong and what you should have done, but with absolutely no clue to what ought to be done now. I hate it and I am sure most menfolk would express solidarity here. This is not criticism but a simple statement of fact and a suggestion for corrective action.

This post wasn't really so short after all. More in the next. Adios!!

Free Willy...

2010-06-27T10:57:00.004-04:00

Summer is finally in, and going strong. Yet I continue to disappoint myself by having lesser fun than I think I deserve. In fact quite considerably. Distractions, such as my thesis, force me to divide my attention to work and fun, obviously resulting in an insincere contribution to either. Since the topic is finally broached, lets very well settle this once and for all. I really am delighted about the concern showered by friends and family, near and not so much. Yeah ! We are talking about my graduation. But it intrigues me. Am I not the one who should be more worried? Well, I gather I am not. To all those, still pestered by the question, it is still indefinitely postponed, yet bounded by the expiry of my I-20 (Oct 2010).

Now, lets stop being a nerd here and steer this post to something slightly more interesting. After an incredible, inexplicable, long hiatus, I am back to watching movies. Yet the picks, were pretty unfortunate. But given the amount of bullshit being churned out, results were perfectly aligned with laws of probability. Raavan was a super disappointment. Senility strikes Mani Ratnam. AB 2.0 was pathetic. And watching Vikram was like ordering Chana Bhatura in Saravana Bhavan, or for that matter, a Masala Dosa in Sher-e-Punjab. As for Knight and Day, the sole reason I saw the movie was a savior in helping me tolerate it. Thank You , Captain Morgan. A-Team was brilliant. Non stop action. Talk about flying a tank. You make Newton proud.

Everyone knows I go to movies for the trailers before. And this particular one strikes me as interesting. Well why not, the idea of the entire life planned for you by people who monitor the world. Well, just for an instance, lets assume this to be true. My question is will you mutely accept the system, or would you find it unacceptable and suffocating? Getting back to the plot of the movie, why does it sound so familiar. Let me give you hint. How about fate and God. Now go back and answer the question above. Are you still 'willing' to accept the system, or are you okay with God messing up with your free will. In all my limited capacity, I am exercising my free will here and promoting atheism. And astrology, don't even talk about it. Though nearly convinced, my belief is slightly shaken by this psychic octopus which seems to have sealed the fate, yet again, for Germany, in the round of 16.

Caution !! Babies on board ...

2010-05-29T17:37:00.000-04:00

What could be worse than departing from your loved ones to a land far far away. For starters, a delayed flight after a night out. My journey back to Jersey, was so, let us say, at the heights of euphemism, eventful, that this post on my return precedes my India travel journal. This is how it went. After coming to know that my flight was delayed by 4 hours, my hungry stomach refused to comply any further and compelled me to buy a thoroughly overpriced snack at the Trivandrum airport. Within 30 minutes another one followed. Upon moving to the gates, what do I see !! Our much badmouthed Kuwait Airways, in a bid to defy internet reviews, decides to serve a heavy breakfast in neat boxes to all its passengers. Delighted by the prospect of more food, I eagerly open my box, to see the sarcastic face of the exact same cutlet and sandwich staring at me with utmost mockery. Sorry, Kuwait Airways, I still have reasons to complain.

Much to my extrapolated satisfaction on my onward journey, where the connecting flight was held despite our flight's late departure, I failed to catch the one from Kuwait to New York. That meant an extra day at Kuwait. As for Kuwait, it is a wealthy metropolis sprinkled with a pinch of vegetation and blessed with infinite salt water and crude oil. Nevertheless, at best, dry. Dry in every sense. To be precise, it is a desert, forbids alcohol while men and women express their fashion statement in thawb and abayat. Needless to say, how disappointing my trips to duty free stores were. If by now you have started pitying my condition, wait for it, the rest is, as Barney says, 'legendary'.

Having obtained my requested window seat sufficiently in the front (12A) and boarding on the dot, I was gratified. A good looking female walks right upto the seat ahead and asks the hostess for 12B. "Cherry on the cake", I thought to myself. Well, it turns out, little missy here was carrying some baggage, a lot of excessive baggage. She comes straight to me and asks, " Do you mind?". Before I could ask, "Mind what?", came the B-bomb, "I have two babies". Plunk !! my heart dropped right into my stomach and I ended up exhausting all my will power to substitute my, "Yes, most certainly I do. Don't you know they have been allotted exclusive space in the cargo bay", with a nonchalant, "Don't worry. I would be fine". My situation was exactly the one of being fed well before the blade falls in a slaughter house.

To my dismay, the misery was not just two fold. I was literally the epicenter of a baby-quake. There were two ahead, one behind and one in the adjacent aisle. The remaining 10 hours were a disaster. The Turks say, the shortest measurable time is that between the traffic light going green and the first honk in Istanbul. I beg to differ. It is the that between one baby stopping to cry and the other to begin. I am sorry to say, I hate babies. They are cute, but for me only in pictures. Despite all the luxury they are awarded, why do they still have to express displeasure. They eat and sleep at will and consider the earth their dumping ground by pooping and farting shamelessly. For the first time in my life, I pardoned all those flyers who defy seat belt signs and jump out of their seats as soon as the plane touches ground rushing to make a beeline at the gate as if a time bomb in the plane was ticking to go off any second. I was ready to do the same. I exited. I breathed.

p.s. : If you are thinking of demanding sympathy for babies saying :

a)I was once one - Thanks, I know.

b)I will have one - Sorry, let me make that decision :)

Tongue of the beholder..

2010-04-22T17:58:00.000-04:00

I am one of those people who has little taste for art. I do understand and admire the beauty of music, sculpture, literature but, come on, paintings!! No way. For me they are just there. With no functionality. I do dig comics. And totally see sense in it. But paintings.They just hang there on the wall, all day, all alone when no one is around, and stare blankly when people are around. Say nothing, do nothing and completely fail to grab my attention. So much said, that is not exactly my point. The point I am trying to make, is an expansion of of an interesting discussion in a movie I was recently watching ( And whose name I will not disclose. Well, Its okay to watch a chic-flick when you have absolutely nothing to do).

The question is, who decides what is art? A piece of work may be everything or nothing depending on whether or not "someone" decides it is awesome or a piece of crap. In most cases that "someone" is a big-guy in the field. Quite possibly, eccentric on the outside. Going with the flow, many often second that and lo and behold.. your work is art. But seriously, I am positive, to most junta, if sufficiently ignorant (not un-intelligent or un-observant) , a Van Gogh juxtaposed among others will easily pass unnoticed. Perhaps it is required to "be there, do that" to relish it. Or is it, that I just nod my head just because the world says "yes".

Thus in a nutshell my point is about letting your opinion be heard. How many of us have ever experienced situations as this where you went out with a bunch of people for a movie or dinner. And you just disagreed to disagree that the movie was somnolent or the food was pathetic. May be you just chose to be safely neutral rather than stand out in the crowd as a complete douche. I must agree, it is hard. Of course,there is always a risk of you completely being wrong. These are just trivial examples, but I leave it as an exercise for the reader to think in retrospect to chart your actions for the imminent. Who knows, may be your intractability stems a revolution.

Letter Writing..

2010-03-22T17:13:00.000-04:00

An obsolete art it is. Thankfully not extinct. Its importance diminished by telephone, email, IM and (cmon!!) tweets and status messages. I agree that, all of the above are convenient, fast, real time and primarily guarantee delivery(except may be, Webmail), however lack, may we say, the exoticism of a letter. I haven't written a letter, or rather written anything at all in ages. Only typed and printed. But yeah, I did use to. In fact to a not very distant past. And should I say, I am grateful to my grandfather for being a technology illiterate (I didn't mean he cannot use a phone).

Back in those days, while a yellow postcard served the purpose of delivering a succinct 'I am still alive' message at the price of peanut (the omission of plurality is deliberate), a blue inland could still transmit the entire neighbourhood gossip at half the cost of a minute's local call. Either ways it was fun. While the lead writer (mostly mom) would claim 2 of the tiny three and half page for being one, the rest of the family could cram their Hi's into the remaining space, pushing the limits by scribbling into the flaps meant for gluing. What would start as legible neat letter would end up looking like a cheat sheet, with probably the essential information (recalled at the last moment) dismembered by the eager recipients.

Checking mail boxes was a thing of suspense (unlike today when you would be right 2 out 3 times if you guessed the sender was Capital One or Pathmark), because the arrival of letter usually meant surprise, mostly pleasant. Frequently informing a relative's upcoming visit or someone's birth, I have even witnessed recipes and horrorscopes (I hope I spelled it right) that eventually materialized into marriages. And for those who used to preserve letters, the sheer joy of revisiting those past days by reopening the chest and shouting out "Did X really write that?", "Was that what my handwriting looked like?" far surpasses the magnitude of annoyance of your boss's immediate reply on your report saying, "Redo this crap !", and the pain of doing English homeworks from Wren & Martin.

I bet even to this day, you would more than just please a friend or a relative by sending a postcard from wherever you are at the moment (instead of updating your Twitter) when you are traveling. Well, at least I believe, not from experience though, as far as love stories go, if a 100 proposal attempts has so far resulted in the display of the middle finger, a nicely written love letter might just seal the deal :)

The master of the universe.. Not !!

2010-01-27T12:10:00.000-05:00

Key word for this post - 'I'. For most people on earth, if not all, the biggest thing that has happened on earth is birth. Specifically, their own. Fair enough. I do see the world through my eyes and expect everything to conform to my standards. In short, it is natural for one to assume, before some unprecedented reality check comes along (quite annoyingly frequently in my case), that he/she is right. Right about everything.

At a very young age, I had visualized myself as a visionary. I was amazed by how trivial concepts of science were yet not thought of. Flying fascinated me then, as it does now. The idea of individual flight rather than mass transit in air was foremost in my agenda. I had theorized the idea of using two magnets, one to be thrown in the air while it would attract the other in my hand, to fly. Sadly Newton's Laws were introduced to me later. On a different instance, I decided to build wings of wax (owing to its low density). My dream crashed, as I crashed in my dream, when the sun melted my wings away. To my great displeasure, Google has answers to every query that ever rang a bell in my head.

~~Academics~~. Well may be sports. Despite my initial failure at almost everything, I would grade myself as 'not bad'. Every time I hold a bat/racquet/ball, I say to myself, " This is it my boy. The next thing you hold will be the cup". Quite evidently, that was not the best phrase. I would spare those infamous moments for you to recall. Well, with all my confidence, I said to myself, Art it is. To keep it brief, I have confined myself to bathroom singing and notebook-last-page-doodling at the moment. ~~Sports. Arts.~~

All my research with comic books and movies finally assured me. One who hath nothing endowed has to be a superhero. Not having seen any obvious powers, I have been to the extent of trying to acquire a few. My attempts of being exposed to radiation (X and Beta), getting bitten by insects (ants and bees, spiders very soon) yielded nothing. I have settled down with undergoing rigorous physical training as for a Ninja/Batman and getting exposed to the elements of nature (snow, heat and animals) as for the Spartan by deliberately avoiding protection. If not anything, I have learnt they are a big effing pain. I still believe, with all sincerity, that someday, not very far away (may be in 2012), I would come out as the 'chosen one'. My verdict for a superhero. Probably.

I fear of being tagged the title of a disgruntled 'stupid common man' (quite aptly quoted by Nasiruddin Shah in 'Wednesday'). Sadly, I criticize a lot assuming myself to be the Master of the Universe, not just mine. I even criticize people when they criticize a lot. At this point, post quarter-life (assuming a 100 year life span), I do not fear poverty. I fear not being rich. I do not fear being common. I fear not being distinguished. Looks like, when everyone is talented in at least one way or the other, I am not common after all. However, the tag 'stupid' still sticks :)

The Incarnation..

2009-12-20T22:45:00.000-05:00

I have watched a ton of movies over the not very recent past, and loved a bunch of them. But not one among them, for a long time, qualified to deserve a place in my blog page. Avatar does. I got blown away. Any statement below that would be a gross understatement. As a warning, if you haven't seen the movie yet, back off right now. This post will contain spoilers. And if you do plan to watch it, don't let it be any short of a 3D in Imax. I observe many, quite surprisingly, disliked the movie. Whether you chose to save a few bucks to watch it on a plane, I am not sure of. But then, I fail to see why you would reject a nutritious dish served 'desi' style.

Here goes my interpretation of the movie. Yes, indeed it suggests that there is intelligent life embedded with modern technology in their nature, elsewhere in the universe and that it is worthwhile to explore the possibilities (all those cribbing about India wasting millions over a mere Chandrayan failure, kindly shut up!!) but it also hints at ways of tackling the atmosphere, flora and fauna, and above all, natives while convincing us to stay and continue our well established destructive ways of life. Despite all his visionary ideas of floating mountains et al., I seriously was disappointed in his assumptions that extraterrestrial life is so earth like (natives, dinosaurs, birds, pterodactyls, dogs etc), yet I give him total credit for making them look so attractive. At some point, I fell in love with Neytiri and so yearned to grow a tail. So cool.

To me, however, the question is, are we really better off than the ape men if we ever had to start off building civilization right from the scratch. We do boast of pumpkin brains compared to nuts in the ape man's upper compartment, our dependence on technology has crippled us to the extent of deeming vital organs and limbs vestigial. To me, it read out loud, move your a*$ from the stupid couch and go out 'Into the wild'. We are such weaklings without the aid of technology that I would not be surprised if we fail to survive a night out in a park, leave alone the jungle.

Well, he no doubt pin points to the war mongering expeditions corporate driven Uncle Sam's government in bid to exploit a country's resources while saving its own in the reserve. Quite aptly portrayed by the Colonel, you plunder their land, provoke them them to attack you and cry, "They are terrorists!! It is now our war". He raises environmental concerns yet again, raising strong fears by felling the Hometree. Believe me, despite my love for animals (on my plate), I was deeply touched.

Overall, there was not a moment in the movie which did not keep me at the edge of seat (and not because of annoying kids right behind me, as usual), it was a total entertainment. A perfect blend of Jurassic Park, Matrix, Princess Mononoke and a godforsaken Karan Johar flick, I bid for its Oscar claim. As an after effect, I still dream of flying the grand Toruk.

Irreversibility...

2009-12-08T17:55:00.000-05:00

If you are highly expectant of this post, I am sorry this is not about thermodynamics. Recently, I have discovered a new enemy - nostalgia. And, it happens to be quite bad ass (Somehow, I love this word and I finally found a reason to use it). The reason being, it strikes me when I least expect it to. More often than not, when I am alone and defenseless. Probably, because I refrain from indulging myself in undergrad-style 'daru parties' where blabbering idiots start off discussing their golden times of the past and end up making phone calls to the absentees of the erstwhile friend groups, and finally topping it off with a session of blackout and/or puke. Okay! At least I am over such things in the past.

Getting back to the topic, for a long time I avoided this enemy because my present kept me busy enough not to revisit the past, and of course, I have not really succeeded in planning my future beyond the next meal. Now, that I have plenty of free time, thanks to my breakthrough research activity, I get to encounter this unwelcome guest often. Nevertheless, when I am reminded of good times at school, with family and while in college, it is sometimes suffocating to realize, yet again, that time is irreversible. Despite making successful attempts to relive those days by means of reunions, you still always know that it is either for better or worse, but never the same.

Many may like to go back, start all over, and tweak happenings to chart a new future of the past. For me, I would be more than just content to live the same life all over again, exactly as it was (Alright! may be just a handful of instances need alteration). After all, the sum total of happenings in my life has led to my present, which by all measures is nothing I can complain about. Phew! All of the above sounded so nostalgic, so not-like-me. I close this post by patting my back at successfully completing a new post within an incredibly short gap. Thanks to all those readers who encourage me write more often.

Arbit..

2009-12-02T17:17:00.000-05:00

I finally decide to pen after an extended hiatus. I guess that makes the title quite obvious. All this while, I have involuntarily been either busy or lazy. Surprisingly, never in between. Occasional introspections lead to certain realizations.

Firstly, as I assist a brilliant super-old professor with his e-mailing, uploading documents, and all the trivial stuff even 4 year olds of this day do with great dexterity, I mentally kick myself in the butt every second, regretting why I agreed to do this? Only to be shaken to the truth later that, I am walking straight into a similar situation, albeit a lot sooner. The rate at which technology is advancing and my brain degrading, I don't see why I can't be tagged a 'technology retard' in a few years.

I am afraid, I have been treating myself as a dog increasingly often. So to say, I reward myself for the teeniest accomplishment. I guess my complacency threshold is hitting a rock bottom. It is now so annoyingly ridiculous that I treat myself generously with a 15$ buffet for avoiding a paid meal or 20 minute cardio. Someone, slap me!!

As much as I am enjoying every moment of my single, carefree, indulgent student life with just enough means to take care of me, frequent success stories of my fellow job seekers and recently 'settled down' family guys, more often than not, is making me insecure. Of course to be forgotten a minute later. To all such dear friends : stop getting jobs and please stop sending wedding invitations. You know I am kidding.

In reference to the comment I usually make jokingly "Samaj kya sochega?" and to those who think they give a rat's ass about what people think, I am sorry to say you are a hypocrite, unless, of course, you are a Naga. Well, the explanation is, whether you dress up (that makes you feel confident 'around people'), make money (more than you need, to maintain 'status'), talk like a gentleman ( 'at meetings'), hide your booze and porno ('from folks'), its because you think quite a bit about what people think about you. Well I would agree, the less conscious we are, the better for us.

Finally, to all those who could not see my vidoes on FB, I think shooting a gun is the one of the the coolest things I have done lately. Apart from the fact that I was scared shitless before the first shot, and that the shot gun almost tore my shoulder apart (despite my immense strength), if you have not done it before, just do it! As the winter approaches, achingly slowly, the skis call out my name even louder. Participants needed :P

Tradition and Vogue..

2009-10-25T11:03:00.000-04:00

Unlike most instances of reminding myself a million times and finally not attending, I made it to the Indian classical music concert this time. And the experience was, I have to say, every bit, rewarding. Well, almost. The artists (Lalgudi Vijayalakshmi and Pravin Godkhinidi) were of great fame and performers par excellence. For those moments when I wandered off from the surroundings into my own thoughts or blank nothingness, I pondered, did I, or not, fit into this half empty hall of audience. Apart from the restless kids who were bribed with a camera or doodling apparatus to keep shut, I bet I was the youngest in the crowd (Believe me, I am not as young as I look). Was it the weather, publicity or the genuine disinterest among the young crowd, not sure. But enough people didn't turn up, and those who did were, on an average, twice my age.

I satisfied myself with the following explanations. Any others are welcome. Despite the versatility and depth of classical music, it lacks style. More appropriately, its not hip. I was eager about the concert because it was a Carnatic-Hindustani Jugalbandi. Jugalbandi in general, means performances involving two lead players on different instruments or genres albeit in sync. But the beauty often lies in the aggression in the fusion, to which the performers crescered, but not till the end. Modern and western, on the other hand, is high on tempo and caters to various moods other just soothing your soul.

Another aspect involves the getup. The act is mostly sedentary, and demands conduct. It might sound awkward if I suggest the artists to dress up more fashionably. Why not toss the kurta-pyjama and the ever irritating saree for a cool torn jeans and leather jacket for a change? I cannot imagine the sight of hippie like artists on the mridangam or tabla jumping around the stage, but I do the commend the likes of Bickram Ghosh and of course the gorgeous Corrs. For the unshaven and long hair looks they usually have, I guess they are a just step away from a makeover.

I am no big music critique or possess knowledge enough to judge the great ones and am posting this at the risk of inviting wrath from those who do. My intention is to express a common man's (not that I am that too) perception about this school of art.

Reversal of perceptions...

2009-09-19T10:39:00.000-04:00

They say, you are innocent until proved guilty. I am surprised how a single incident or event can completely overturn your perception about an entity, living or otherwise. I shall quote a few examples off the top of my head. Readers are urged to leave more as comments.

To begin with, contrary to love, my experiences with first sight have been shattering. Do I need to proclaim, I am the king of goof-ups when it comes to the fairer(??) sex. It ends up being so disastrous that a millennium of makeup won't suffice.FML!! Women who are reading now, please try getting over it, even if it may not be just the first time.

On a more serious note, I am awestruck by how arranged (strategic sounds more appropriate for the ones involving dowry) marriages are acceptable to conservative Indians, especially the women. A girl who grows up preserving her virginity, staying away from men, agrees to lose it upon a short acquaintance with a stranger. Guys of course, have nothing much to lose.

I am frequently reminded of how parents start looking up to their children as mature and responsible on two specific occasions of their life. Once, when they start supporting themselves financially, and two, when they get married. I am sure nothing changed in me, physically or mentally, on the day I got my first job. Well...can't really comment on the marriage part.

This next example is classic and is inspired by an article I read somewhere. The female breast, normally considered a sexual object, ceases to be thought of thus, immediately after she becomes a mother. It is surprising how even when feeding in public, people look up to the woman as mother, a symbol of respect. Queer, but undeniably true.

Lastly, I am, and the people of Iran are happy the way things turned out with Ahmedinejad. The religious leaders lost their supremacy and respect they commanded. One single blunder by the Ayatollah brought them down. Man!! Only thing worse than mixing drinking and driving is probably mixing religion with politics.

All said and done, it is not my intention here to advocate (except possibly the first one) or oppose these reversal of perceptions. However, I do wish people could be more consistent with their thought process. Last thing I would hate to see, is the non-existence of Higgs boson (whatever reason they decided to call it "God" particle). Not that I really care about the particle physicists. For God's sake (;)) , at least, spare the grad students!!

The Demon Barber..

2009-08-25T15:55:00.000-04:00

Either for lack of futuristic sci-fi ideas and/or clairvoyance, I like talking about incidences from my past. It does make me sound oldish and all, but who cares, it's my blog. As for the title of the post, the sole intention was to make it cool and catchy.

To all those who take pleasure viewing my once receding hairline, I, once, was the proud owner of long, curly lustrous hair (may not sound apt for a man, yet is true). Needless to say, I had the pleasure of making frequent visits to the barber shop. Well, it was not just the idea of getting a haircut but the whole process of waiting and aftermath that makes it attractive. Let me be shameless here, and state that, not only have I paid Rs.300 to experience in an upscale Mumbai 'unisex parlour', an unsatisfactory haircut, I have also stooped (by societal standards) to enjoy the brick seat, in front of tiny mirror hanging from the tree, on the roadside (often referred colloquially as 'Italian' saloon; Ita = brick in Hindi) for a meagre Rs.5 . Frankly, till this day, I might choose the latter over the former.

Apart from the extrema, an average saloon in my locality would generally be crowded only on weekends. All other days, it would be frequented only by the para (local) jobless youth, who could'nt do without admiring their beauty in the mirror and setting their hair for a picture perfect look, an umpteen times to lure the passing girls or the likes of fish vendors and bais (servants). For a person as busy as me, weekends were an inevitable choice (this was when I was still in school). Thankfully to counter the boredom while waiting in the queue, the saloon would be equipped with a 'mono'tonic radio or if lucky, I would get to watch Cable TV (signal stolen from a neighbour by hanging a hanger to the slit cable) on an obsolete b/w monitor. If that weren't enough one could always update themselves with the locality's 'week that wasn't' in a matter of minutes.

Finally, when it is my turn, I would sit on the princely throne capable of 3-d movement, draped by a never washed cloth, and wait for the chink-chink of the scissors to start (I am grateful to the person who compiled this audio). Close your eyes and experience the fingers and the scissor go past your ears and over your neck. Pure bliss!! To all those who grew up experiencing the electric trimmer, my heartfelt sympathies. Top it off with nice speshal smooth shave and a supreme massage for a small extra cost, end with a delicious breakfast of hing kachoris and jalebis (earned by selling a month's collection of newspaper) - watta lyf!!

To this day, I dread shaving on my own and going for a haircut to the barbers in the US ,thanks to the price I eventually pay, monetarily and figuratively, and wait till I grow my hair back to normal. Should I say, I miss India?

Sermon in the houz of gawd..

2009-08-04T17:15:00.000-04:00

If you happen to know me well, and are wondering what on earth I was doing in a temple, I have my answers ready. I was doing whatever it takes to, fulfil a promise to myself - the one about spending every weekend of the summer fruitfully viz. accompanied by travel, good food and company. Though my intentions were earnest, see a new place, gobble some authentic food and get out early, I did not expect a bombshell in the form of a lengthy sermon dropped right on my head.

As for Mr.Priest, we made his day. Just as he was about dispense his wisdom to a mid to senior aged audience, he saw our bunch of innocent college going students walk right into trap. Perhaps, the best way to derive sadistic pleasure, is to broach a provocative topic to a physically and verbally bonded audience for whom the last thing desired on a nice Sunday afternoon is a lecture on an ideal marriage.

To cut a long story short, I will include a gist of his ideologies which itself exceeds the intended length of this post, when I started off.

1.He presumed the giant universal set of Indian marriages to be 'Arranged',which he fancily called 'Strategic'. In other words the set of 'Love' marriages was assumed to be null.

2.He totally rubbished the process of bride selection and rather justified groom selection. He advocated the girl's right to grill the guy during the process. Now this is something that I would hate to hear, given the real-life situation, where normally it is the girl who gets to choose (especially in the engineering streams), thanks to the ridiculoulsy disproportionate male-female ratios. As for the grilling part, do you think the post-wedding span so fleeting that you start off with the guys getting grilled?

3.He was against dowry system and wanted the groom's family to bear all the expenses of the wedding, contrary to the popular sensible (read: favorable to me) practice. Despite my progressive ideologies of 'equal opportunity', it is extremely difficult, even for me, to overcome such a lucrative system our society has established, especially at these times of recession. No doubt, I was annoyed.

4.To top it all, his theory suggested that for every virtue that a man did, half of it gets added to his wife's account. Further he gets to keep half the sins his wife commits. BS. Well, he was kind enough to enlighten us with how to get away with the sins. The best method was the process of 'Kanyadaan'- the process of giving away a daughter for marriage, which apparently resets one's sin counter to zero. If you do not have a daughter, adopt one to attain salvation not only for you, but for 21 generations to come. At this juncture, when I was yawning and thought I could take no more, our dear friend AS(S), had to ask a question- much like the nerdy Hermione Granger, who everyone hates.

He was'nt sure if he were a serial killer, would he be able to abluere his sins by Kanyadaan. The answer my dear friend is, if it was 21 generations back or forth benefiting from it, I am sure you are certainly covered. Thankfully enough, for going through the torture, we were aptly rewarded with yummy laddoo and not-so-bad free food.

To end with, however much I might have expressed disgruntlement above, he was doing his task of explaining scriptures, taught to him. He was a decent man and his intentions might have been simply to reform certain anomalies in the society, forced down the common man's throat mixed with honey in the form of religion. As for Mr.AS, no offense- my intention is just include some banter.

Pedagogy and Adda..

2009-06-18T16:38:00.000-04:00

If someone asked me something about Bengal that he/she must know, I would suggest adda as one among its top ten. For those who are not aware of this 'way of life', It is remotely a reflection of dialectic thinking. Probably, thinking is, in a way, overstreching the meaning of the word. Well, the discussions of Socrates and Plato on the streets of Athens are definitely a far cry. Nevertheless, it has sufficient role in what I am and the way I think today.

No matter what you do (don't), in order to qualify as a Bengali, the least you have to be is a good eater and talker. Quite obviously, one is required to devote time, exclusively, to stand round the street corners and contribute to the discussions and arguements about news, views, politics, society etc. Usually, there is a 'dada' - the enlightened know-it-all to lead all topics and many a time the mediator and also the mitigator. For a socially shy individual as me, listening was more of my thing, and it is hard to deny that I enjoyed the conversations most of the time I spent in Kolkata, to an extent that I would reproduce the matter in a different circle, where I was the local know-it-all.

After I recieved my first degree, and having been in the company of people actually knowlegeable, the adda sessions, when I returned to Kolkata for vacations, seemed at the very best bizarre. Rather than staying away, I decided rather to indulge more into addas, with an intention to amuse myself, helping settle the meaningless bones of contentions.

Even though, it may directly or indirectly responsible for the economic backwardness of the state, I am inclined to advocate for the practice. If directed carefully, they do eventually contribute to the broadening of the mind, something, companies fancifully name 'brainstorming'. Not only are they, the cause of existence of numerous shops serving mouthwatering street food ( one of the few reasons I look forward to visit Calcutta), they do have at least 1% sense, which actually is significant, given the sheer volume of matter your head absorbs.

End it well..

2009-05-15T00:35:00.000-04:00

The other day at lunch, I observed one of my friends, who had ordered a middle-eastern platter, eating in a pattern. He ate the salad first, and waited for the falafel till the end. One of the possible inferences might have been, his dislike for the item, one that would end up in the trash. Quite contrarily, I understood that the pattern reflected one of my practices since childhood. I used to bite the biscuit edge of the cream biscuit till only the creamy portion remained. To confirm my assumption, I asked him whether he always ate the tastiest items in the end. To my relief the answer was 'Yes'. The reason why I call this seemingly insignificant incident a behavioral pattern, is because, (as per my observation) people would generally fall into any one of these classes viz. ones who put good things off till the end and the others who would make the most of the present.

It is not really difficult to extend this observation to other facets of life. If I ever buy a new shirt, I wait for the perfect occasion to wear it. With a rather stupid approach, from my frame of reference, a roommate of mine would wear it the very day he brings it home. In a different walk of life, I try to solve the most difficult problem of a homework or a test first and enjoy the pleasure of finishing the easier ones near the deadline. Many do the opposite.

But what exactly is the nature undereath people of either category? I will begin with my approach first to make sure I remain consistent with my behavior. I assume that if good things are not yet over, I can look forward to something more exciting and pleasurable in future. That way, I can be eager about the upcoming future. Alas! I am constantly reminded of the exams where I screw up and regret not getting whatever points I could, by solving the easier problems, by making a foolish attempt to satisfy my ego. The other kind, with a rather childish impatience, make the most out of the present, and in the process at least get to experience what is in hand. Despite my inherent nature, I fully support the other kind. As they say, " A bird in hand ......".

A few passing thoughts..

2009-03-21T18:44:00.000-04:00

It has become obvious that my blogs have become similar to the current Family Guy and South Park episodes - delayed and without fresh ideas. But eventually this had to happen; people do run out of ideas and I request not to be blamed. But before I forgot, I thought it wise to pen a few passing thoughts. The gist of a must watch talk by another gentleman Barry Schwartz. He talks about how people keep thinking over and regretting over the choices they made in the past - just because they had an option to choose . As a fleeting remark to your aid if you are one of them, " Every passing moment is an opportunity to turn things around" (Courtesy: Penelope Cruz @ Vanilla Sky).

In defense of the space programs (even though Chandrayaan might be reinventing the wheel, on diplomatic levels, people really do not wish to share technology or collaborate), just because we have problems on Earth it would be stupid for us stop looking elsewhere in space for a new residence. First thing, technology does not evolve overnight to work out if a problem surfaces (especially not people like Bruce Willis in Armageddon). Secondly, in analogy to the coexistence of the rich and poor, just because there are poor in the world, you dont expect the rich to give away their money to the poor, leaving noone rich (Come on! I am sure you were boasting when you saw three Indian billionaires on the Forbes cover).

On Slumdog's success, for all those who are, stop cribbing about showing India in poor light. You did not feel bad about Germans watching Schindler's List. Did you? And neither did you cry when the author wrote the book or (even The White Tiger). After all, give some credit to the awesome performance by those kids and other actors (You can leave Anil Kapoor aside if you wish ;) ). If you are the ones making noise that India(ns) won the Oscars, I am sorry none of you had much of a role in it. Overall, it was a good movie, have fun, and get over it. (FYI I really do not find any of the nominated movies really thought provoking. Alas! It is the usual Oscar story).

If you are an Indian reading this blog and have not seen Satyajit Roy movies, stop being a #$@& and start watching immediately. If you claim you have achieved a lot by watching Pather Panchali, unfortunatley for you, that was the least digestible of the whole lot. He was probably the most futurstic thinker and story teller of his time. Most of his ideas may now sound normal, but were once radical. One that still strikes me, the one appreciating the tribals in Agantuk (The Stranger) aboutt what we actually got from them. Not just culture and history, but rather technology. Here we are, enjoying the luxury of experiencing super cool inventions of someone else, the tribals on the other hand are still living their stone ages and inventing stuff for themselves. A process that is lot cooler than saying, "I really would have invented something had all these stuff not been invented".

On a closing note, a friend of mine, asked me a question to which I could not give him a satisfactory explanation. (In fact, whoever else I asked gave me some arbitrary unconvincing reply). "How exactly did the British come to rule India?". Afterall, by our standards, they were just a handful. Something else that struck me recently, If it was the English the Americans fought against during War of Independence, (which makes them their enemies), how did they come to speak English (or whatever they claim it to be) all over the country? Kindly enlighten me.

On Education...

2009-02-26T21:39:00.000-05:00

What inspired me to after an extended hiatus was the TED talk by Sir Ken Robinson. I am sure the idea cannot be put in better words than his, and hence I recommend the reader to watch it, rather than waste his/her useful time on the rest of this blog.

That, one is intelligent if he/she is academically sound was never acceptable to me. Nonetheless, despite regretting every move, I have tread on the path of regular education, a rather common one, with an objective of gathering wealth and hence be successful. Simply, because of the hope that once I could support myself completely, I would diverge. Not only would an education without one requiring to excel in mathematics or the languages would have been far more exciting, it would have provided the relatively idle mind, more time to venture into deciding what would be the best fit for him/her.

I am hoping his ideas will be implemented, and promise I would not be ashamed to pursue what I wish to if it so happens, even if it means to sit in class with infants. As of now I am looking to get into archaeology and request readers to suggest ideas as to how I could venture into it from Mechanical Engineering.

Water and Ice...

2009-01-28T16:04:00.000-05:00

It is one thing to relish the visual delight of seeing snow all around and another, to appreciate the scientific precision of nature. Who ever is doing the math in this case is really doing a good job. This thought goes back to the early physics lessons during my high school. Unlike most other substances, the solid form of water is less denser than the liquid. Ya ya! I know you guys know this. But why? Had it been the other way, what could have gone wrong. Surely we might not have existed. At least not unless we had spared a billion more years for evolution to work. During the cold seasons, the top layer of water would freeze. But since it is lighter than water it would remain floating. Also, since it is non conducting, it would prevent any further heat transfer. Thus, allowing the water below to remain liquid. The only reason why fish and other animals survive the sub zero. Had ice been denser, it would sink to the bottom and allowing more water on the top to be frozen and eventually the whole mass. Further, the ice at the ocean bed would never melt and kill all plants that maintain BOD levels. Consequently no living organism would have lived past the ice age. Certainly you wont be reading my blog today.

Lessons from India..

2009-01-09T12:07:00.001-05:00

This blog is a compilation of a number of lessons India taught me on my first trip back home. Surprisingly, despite so many fruitful years of my life here, it is a realization that there are still infinite pages I am yet to turn over. On my quest to learn more about this country, I started watching, upon someone's suggestion, the BBC documentary by Michael Wood, "The story of India". Though it still projects India on a large scale, as a mystic land where there is a convergence, co-existence and preservation of primitive culture with the modern world, which I once strongly disagreed with, I am reminded of a conversation with a senior gentleman during one of my train journeys.

Perhaps the reason I love train journeys, apart from the fact that you get to kill time by staring out through the five bars of the window which separate one from the outside (which aeroplanes deprive you of), are meeting with interesting people. So, as this person in the adjacent coupe, started off with the usual 'gyan' about religion, current times and generation X, I could not stop my irritation from being conspicuous. Irrespective of what conversation we had, the gist to take home with was, that the ancient Indians have written numerous rules-each different for people with different professions (commonly misconstrued for a very long time as castes), that one should follow to lead a good life. On the outset, they sound no more than illogical and unscientific. Bingo!! That is exactly they wanted. For a common man, science, with so many inventions yet to be made, was no more than a taboo. So, they concocted a theory by mixing religion, which in one way, forced them to obey the rules-like it or not. The fortnightly fasting, on the new moons day, as he explained has actually to do with giving your stomach a day's rest from the junk one has been eating for the last two weeks. A better example is the one about the Bengali delicacy-Ilish or the Hilsa fish, one good interesting article I read in the otherwise worthless 'Outlook' magazine.

The Hilsa apparently is a fish so mouthwateringly tasty (which I cannot vouch for as I have never tasted one) because it lives in the delta region and travels from the sea to the river and back. It captures the unique flavor of both sea and river water fish. Religion did not allow the Bengalis from catching the Ilish during a particular period of the time of the year. The actual reason however is different. The peculiarity of the Ilish's behaviour is , that it travels from sea to the river during the forbidden fishing period to lay its eggs in the river. By the time they return, the ban is lifted so that one could catch the full grown fishes in plenty. Unfortuantely, the gen x does not believe in religion (:D) but neither is it totally equipped with the knowledge of science (:(). With disposable incomes stuffed in their wallets, they can afford the coveted Ilish throughout the year. So the fishermen catch them all the time irrespecive of whether they are travelling upstream or down. The result is the near extinction of Ilish. Before I people start judging me to be of one from the Gen (X-1) I would terminate this blog with the promise of updating my bloglist at the earliest with every new lesson learnt.

Exam time...

2008-12-21T21:35:00.000-05:00

Having faced this monster of a phenomenon for more than two decades, it was not until the recent past that I could have confidently said, "It is just another test". I somehow feel, with a grandfatherly air, that exams are no more than a bugaboo, created by none other than immature, academic children driven by egoistic parents and encouraged by partisan teachers supporting their favorite frontbenchers. I may very well have, voiced an opposite opinion if only my mother would not have given up on me after the 4th grade, or had I been able to sustain my 'good boy' image beyond a week in the new class.

Nevertheless, I guess it is more rational to despise people not on your side. So let me introduce real life characters MJ, AT, VC and even PP much later, who are still very good friends of mine, but deserve the charges of making my life miserable at some point of time. To begin with, I claim that I used to reign supreme in my class till my 4th grade. Probably because I joined school a year late and of course my mom. I guess, that was the culmination of my academics. Never ever after that, have I either got a perfect score, and nor have I ranked in the class.

With subjects like history and hindi, devised just to ruin my life, the decline of my reign was imminent. Somehow I could neither get the hang of dates and nor could I distinguish the gender of inanimate objects. To add insult to injury, the others who had claimed screwing up their tests would come out with flying colors. To make things worse, some of my teachers would simply grade the papers but not total the scores. They would redistribute the sheets randomly and ask us to do the job. By some conspiracy, I would land up totalling my worst enemy's top score. Thinking this is not enough, the teacher would publicly announce the grades in the class. I guess there was little to do than to congratulate the topper by putting up a pretentious face.

By the time I was in the 8th grade, I was wise enough to realize that the end of semester exams were no more than petty league games. The boards are like the World Cup and that is what I should look forward too ( I am sure not many would have depicted this level of maturity at that age :D). Anyway, I somehow managed to regain part of my glory by doing really well despite the pre-selection test grossly projecting me as a goner. I basked in the glory for three full months to realize that the worst was yet to come - the IIT's. For reasons, I would not like to mention, I ended up screwing it up big time. But in the process, I met this AM in class who was smart and intelligent, and like me would often screw up his tests. So after one particular exam, I went up to him and asked how his exam went. Instead of the usual groaning and crying which people normally do, he cheerily said he screwed up. Not a word more. And that, I thought was a really 'cool thing' to do.

IIT and the JEE were the toughest tests I had to take. In engineering, in a stark contrast to the 'fist pumping' for scoring the highest, junta would rejoice to failure. Food and alcohol would flow, whether you win or you lose. Now, at a stage where a good GPA does not necessarily fetch you a better job or a better salary, the importance of exams have diminished to an extent of making me writing blogs like these. For those who still crave a 4.0/4.0, the last thing that it signifies is higher intellect (or am I just defending my score ;) ).

A history of carnage...

2008-10-19T18:18:00.000-04:00

Some said, there was always a violent streak in the giant, others were still recovering or were in no postion to tell. The penchant for bloodshed and pain in the giant was first visible when he decided to shower his wrath upon the insects, who would mercilessly pierce him with their proboscis for nutrition, knowing not what lay in store for them. Pain is, after all, always paid for, by pain.

As the undefeated mosquito hummed over the mammoth's fleshly skin hoping to land over the veins of luscious blood rivers, never did it imagine that the gigantic five pronged club would come swinging. Whoosh!! With all its agility, it zoomed past the club. Before it could momentarily rejoice over its victory, the backup five pronged club came heavily upon, knocking it completely out. On regaining consciousness, it woke up to searing pain on its right wing.. Wing? Where was it? There it was, a mosquito-meter away. Oh! how it wished it would rather die. RRriippp!! came a sound and balanced the pain on the other wing. What could be worse??

Haha!! smirked the giant with sadistic pleasure. Two down, six to go. After all that is the only reason we call you insects. Every moment after that was unimaginably hard to breathe. Transparent liquid oozing out of every new hole created. This is what you get when spill blood. Blood for blood and pain for pain. This was a message from the giant to the mosquito-not that it mattered anymore, and to the whole lot. He left the dying mosquito as a lesson for the misearble community to stay off the invincible.

All that the mosquito could remember before it blacked out, the moment before the ultimate calm, was the shining blade cut through its torso. It was that moment when it took a deep breath and then jumped up to find everything around was fine. The sun shining bright and the clock still not close to eight. Still enough time for school. The painful dream taught the giant, the young me, a lesson. Never did I ever sever the body of insects. Never should such suffering be a part of anyones life, or rather death. That very day I decided-To kill them all with one blow!!

The Rail Gaadi...

2008-07-18T00:30:00.000-04:00

This may sound bizarre to many but I have always had a soft corner for Indian Railways. All because of the countless fond memories entwined. It is March 1988 with final exams round the corner. Yet, I am happy, as I look forward to our annual family trip to Trivandrum. My father's LTA allowed us to make a trip every year to his hometown, and thankfully he was wise enough to declare it in the other corner of the country. It is actually my mother's. After going through my school calendar, we finally zero in on the day of departure and count 30 days backwards to to locate the opening day for ticket reservation. Thanks to the population, all tickets get sold on the very first day. So dad decides to queue up at the crack of dawn to avoid the disappointment.

Zap!! And here we are a day before the journey. Mom is busy packing the gifts she has been shopping for, over a week. She is yet to commence on the food packets to be carried for the journey. Eating from the pantry is a strict no-no. But how I longed for the pantry food in steel plates covered by silver foil. Despite being warned of bad manners, I would occasionally steal a glance while the co passengers dined the apparently tasty food.

We start 2 hours well in advance before the departure. After all, traffic on the Howrah bridge is jam packed. Man!! Everything is fresh in my memory. The excitement in the wait before the journey, far surpassed the joy at arrival at destination. Rust colored bogies with yellow interiors, totally crammed with passengers beyond capacity, not to mention the endless streak of vendors screaming "Chaye!! Koffee!!" at full volume throughout day and night-I remember them all. The visual delight in those yellow 0 watt bulbs and the good for nothing fans (which needed a poke with a comb for a startup) are worth more to me, today, than the fancy lighting and air conditioned interiors of an airplane. Afterall, the only option is to sit and stare, at the elderly air hostess (if it is Indian/Deccan) who serves you with a conspicuous muttering behind her made up smile.

I got to relive those moments, again, during college days. An equally long journey from Trichy to Kolkata and the return back, were more than a treat to celebrate the the end of semesters. All students traveling to AP/Orissa/WB/NE occupied almost the complete bogie. Each one making attempts to vie for the scarce supply of girls in the batch, for one more last time. Of course, how could we forget the eunuchs blackmailing us with exposure to blinding sights if not paid suitably(We did find a way around finally!) Also is attached, those memories of mixed feelings when you bid goodbye to parents at the station while looking forward to another wonderous journey.

Gosh!! I look back and say, how foolish was I not to relish those moments. The best I can do now, is to look forward to my next 18 hour flight back home after 15 unending months, guessing all the while who is going to be the pretty lady on next seat (Alas!! there is no way to check, as we used to, on the passenger list near the toilet window for F 18 s).

Fear Factor...

2008-07-05T09:22:00.000-04:00

Summer 2008 has been extremely eventful. At points, more eventful than I can actually take. Nevertheless, satisfying most of the time. I am not sure whether it is because of America or rather their "American" way of life that has pushed me to enter domains I would have never dared to venture. I finally realize, after attending numerous interviews, what the answer to the question about my hobbies should be. Adventure it is.

I can proudly add hiking, getting lost while hiking, white water rafting, roller coasting (believe me, the tallest and fastest ever built by man) and ice skating to the long list of blank spaces which I have set myself to fill. I cannot brag that these experiences have left me braver each time. I am sure that I am going to be hit by panic (if not of the same magnitude) every time I would be stepping into a raft. Rather it has taught me fun (life) is all about overcoming your fears. The last thing I want to do, is to look stupid when the qualifier question at the gates of heaven is "What did you do when you were alive?"

Black Gold..

2008-06-14T12:41:00.000-04:00

When I quit my job at L & T, my colleagues and clients were amused that crude prices had skyrocketed. That meant a boost for the business and indirectly each one of them. It was $77 then, a year ago. I guess by this time their suppressed smirks must have transformed into conspicuous grins. World over, prices of gasoline have gone up tremendously. Rs.5 in India is exorbitant. 25% in US is unimaginable. Yet, fortunately the difference is just a dollar; not worth the cribbing. Prices are rising and will keep on rising. The peak production has been achieved and no matter what, there is a guarantee that consumption is not going down.

Mankind is going to give birth to more humans, eat more food, buy more cars, of course drive them more, watch more TV, use more A/C to counteract the global warming, consume more paper and do everything that consumes more power. So what the hell is all this noise about. I used to think, I was the only one who who would start working when the the critical time is well past. It appears the world works that way. Face the fact. Alternate energy is not going to be available till oil is going to be unaffordable for the millionaires.

So what is the solution? Speed up the entire process. Consume all the oil and get over with it. Meanwhile, join an oil company for work, buy more energy shares and have all the fun consuming power. If you dont agree with me, then the least you can do is - shut the @#$% up!!

Graffiti...

2008-05-18T01:06:00.000-04:00

I talk a lot. In fact most people do. That would mean I am just doing about the average. How much of my loquaciousness is relevant? Difficult to quantify. Thankfully. Nothing to be ashamed of though. Most arguments, misunderstandings, breakups probably occur because of lack of communication. Or rather, the wrong timing of communication. Take for example, the four of us living together. We state our grievances about each one of us most of the time, which is good. What is bad is, one is discussed during his absence. So after a session or two of consequential venting, we decided upon the 'post-it' scheme. This worked. It was amazing as to how that useless piece of paper converted arguments to situational comedies. Alas, the trend failed to continue. Thanks to my lazy friends :)

The inspirations behind this are the countless graffiti scratched on the tables and especially the toilet walls in America and elsewhere. Not only these guys spend their time most fruitfully while doing something most unfruitful, they also leave enough entertainment for the people to come (Bad luck for those guys who do not prefer changing restrooms, I suggest you should). Some of them go like this: "If you wish to leave your mark, this is not the place"; "Is life just?" writes someone; Someone else writes on top with an arrow,"Just what??"; "Flush twice. It is a long way to dining hall."

In fact all families, offices, hostels, schools should have a graffiti space. It would not only help people vent out, add mirth to the milieu, but also correct things. I guess if you write that your boss is an a*#$%le, he would try not to be one the very next day. On the contrary, try calling him the same, once.

Another anecdote..

2008-04-25T15:17:00.000-04:00

All I could think of, at this abysmal moment of my educational career, is to update the previous anecdote with and even more embarrassing one. I could realize that my brain was wearing out, but never did I come to know when it had started effecting my senses, especially my audibility. I happened to meet this cute little interesting Bangladeshi female a couple of days back. After a few rounds of formal pleasantries, we settled down to continue the conversation in Bengali. It felt good, after a long time, to be able to speak in Bengali.

Unfortunately, right from the beginning my ear drums were refusing to comply by sending all the wrong signals to my brain. Despite those minor technical glitches, I managed to stay afloat without casting an overly abnormal impression. But the inclination was far from encouraging. I am not sure what veered us into this topic when, all of a sudden, she asked me, "Are you single?". It seemed quite unnatural, but assuming that Bengalis, in general, have an artistic predisposition, the question seemed valid. Despite being confident, that my appearance, from no angle had the look of a budding singer or musician, I could not resist, but blushingly reply "No. Not usually. But ya occasionally in the bathroom." If you are still wondering where this topic is veering to, let me explain. What I understood from her query was, whether I was a singer. Imagine, with all your dirty minds in action, what all ways a girl could have interpreted this reply.

Ruling... with style..

2008-04-19T11:34:00.000-04:00

Somebody broached this topic out of the blue the other day during the post midnight walk. Despite their semiconscious state with amplified emotions, the point was nonetheless valid. The question was "Why does the Indian government have to be so unstylish?". Not only the government, but any entity which is subsidiary or undertaking follows the norm.

When talking about style, the first thing that strikes my mind are clothes. Politicians have unfailingly sworn by the traditional dhoti and kurta for eternity. Even the comparitively modern edition, the augementation of the pajama and the jacket are far from being stylish. On special occasions one would sport the infamous Safari suit. Irrespective of how nationalistic you feel about these attires, they are neither in vogue and certainly not the least comfortable. I am not sure how much vote, a candidate dressed in a jeans and a tee would be able to garner. Cars come next to my mind when we speak of style. The Sarkar has forever been loyal to the sturdy grandfatherly Ambassador ever since its inception. Imagine Bush arriving to India to see a red hatted black tinted black Amby waiting outside the Airport to take him in.

How about the Govenment agencies like BSNL, India Post, Motor Vehicles etc? Each of their offices occupy dingy rooms in decrepit buildings in posh areas of the city. Advertisements are used to promote products. I guess, the BSNL advertisements were used to serve otherwise. Possibly a strategy, in an attempt to cope with the demand. We claim to be the silicon valley of the Orient. Yet we are far behind when it comes to the technological upgradation of these agencies. In the recent past, some changes were definitely evident. However, there is still a long, long way to go. The general impression regarding a government job is one of security (you never get kicked out), high paying (even if the salary is negligible) and great respect (cause you can bully anyone who needs your service).

Exceptions like Dayanidhi Maran, who did a good job had to eventually, lose it. The point is not one of criticizm. The question is, why should things deliberately made this way?

An Anecdote...

2008-04-02T00:25:00.000-04:00

In a radical departure from my usual style of boring my enthusiastic readers with unbearably long blogs, I will cut a long short story short and quote a minuscule chapter of my life. Ever since I was introduced to trigonometry, it was a pain for those good people who tried to teach me the subject. Thankfully for me, some intelligent guy had devised a unique method to make life easier for dumb brains like mine. It goes something like this-"Some People Have, Curly Brown Hair, Turn Permanently Black" where S stands for sine, P for perpendicular, H for Hypotenuse and son on.

On an unprecedented situation yesterday, I was tutoring precalculus an African-American kid who was struggling with trigonometry, I decided to teach him one of those Indian styles of remembering things. Just when I was about to utter those golden words, it struck my mind as to what those words would mean for the kid-No less than mockery and racism. Imagine my embarrassment when I withdrew at the last moment, saying that I no longer remember the most fundamental thing in trigonometry.

The Great Epics..

2008-03-20T20:37:00.000-04:00

Perhaps the subject most hated by most students in most countries of the world is history. It is normal. I too was normal. I have no idea when I stepped into the domain of abnormality. Probably things are not very rosy when one is made to do something to serve someone else's purpose. I was forced to study because my parents wanted me to score well. But now, I don't study history. I read history for amusement. It is so amazing that if 'History truly repeats itself', I am eagerly waiting.

Ancient Indians, unfortunately, have been careless, to the point of being disastrous, in keeping records of their present i.e. our past. So what we get to read in most cases are fantasies and eulogies of some crackpots trying to earn a few quick bucks from their patrons. Ramayana and Mahabharata, are two specimen samples of this so called history. Smeared over an obscure time scale these fit anachronically to events in the rest of the world and are misinterpreted to the extrema.

Even if its temporal incongruity is ignored, it is not to be taken as a tale of gods and demons with a very expected outcome of the 'victory of the good over the evil'. It is rather a clever description of the then society by a shrewd writer who was successful in catering to the senses of a common reader. No doubt it still reigns as a bestseller. Both epics describe the society divided into the rich, poor and those in between. It depicts the intentions of the rich to become richer. It reflects the power of women in the matriarchal society or probably sends a message across to give the power. Krishna is a typical man whose life through playful childhood, flirtatious adolescence and mature adulthood has been portrayed. There isn't much sense in interpreting the story otherwise.

The world (if you disregard the White House,Palestine and family as a part of it), despises wars. But history would not only be incomplete but also as bland as a seet corn soup without wars. Imagine history books without personalities like Achilles, Alexander, Genghis Khan, Babur, Napoleon and Hitler. (Okay!! add Bush to the list if you please). Wars have triggered growth of civilizations, discovery of nations, development of technology to name a few. They are the backbone of history Politics and strategies of war will forever intrigue me. Nevertheless it will remain gruesome and horrendous.

On a closing note, fortunately for the generations to come, history will certainly begin at the dawn of the World War and may be extend till superiority of humans over I-Robots. If all goes well,maybe, a chapter or two about me, too :)

Saint Valentine's Day

2008-02-17T13:31:00.002-05:00

I have a growing feeling that this day of the year eagerly awaited by.... Archie's, Hallmark etc and all those companies who cash in on the fancies of the 'genx' might have its origins in India rather than America. Who cares. Cricket might have been a game of the English but Australia still reigns the game undefeated year after another. The following are just my observations and must not be interpreted as my inclination to join the Sena.

14th Feb was just another normal day for almost all the people around, as it was for me, in New Brunswick. People went to offices on time, students turned up in full strength to class and nobody was in a hurry at the end of the day to rush to meet their other halves. Apart from stray incidents of exchange of roses, the air smelled the same with no traces of being adulterated with love. Even cafe's and restaurants, presumably areas of high probability of spotting couples did not put up displays of hearts and roses worthy of mention. In fact all celebrations were put off till the weekend with just the regular weekend party named as the V-Day party.Overall, America was a big disappointment as far as the day goes.

Let me quickly go back a couple of years, when I was in college. Even a place like Trichy, which, is mostly inexistent in those cheap political maps of India, had unbeleivable potential for the sale of items stamped with the symbol of heart or marked I Love You. Preparation for the day would normally start a week or so back. After all, it is not easy for the guys to decide how to extract the maximum love at the least expense. Girls on the other hand face the equally uphill task of achieving otherwise. For many, it was the time to turn the gradient of love curve from negative to positive. For many others, it was the time to at least budge from the origin. Whatever, if there was one day of the year when one's life could meet a drastic change in direction, it was this one.

I guess there is one big lesson for the world to learn. Be it software, fashion or love, we might be not be the pioneers of invention, but nobody stands close to Indians when it comes to implementation. I totally agree to what the British Indian stand up comedian said during one of his shows: " Remember!! We are from the land of Kama Sutra; we can f$%& in more ways than you can count".

2008-02-17T13:31:00.001-05:00

The Big Debate

2008-01-06T20:36:00.000-05:00

In this world ruled by information technology, I feel that I have, in some way, failed to keep up with the times. Despite being able to acquaint myself with the field of technology, I have failed miserably in my attempt to update myself with information. I was never a reader good enough in order to fall into the category of 'avid'. Television too, never attracted me. In fact, every effort in my home, was made to keep me away from the tube, so that, I could divert my energies towards education. That, however, did not happen. Naturally, I never had the disposition to learn about the extremely interesting and muddy field of politics.

It happened only to be by chance, that I came to watch the debate for the run for the quadrennial U.S. presidential elections. I am sure, I do not know much about how it works, but it was good to see politicians enunciate their intentions (however true or untrue they may be), publicly in a manner that can be called 'highly civilized' in the reference frame of the Indian political arena. The idea of a debate among the contestants, first within the same party, and finally, between the rival party contestants seems so organized and clean. Each one of them, possesses excellent oratory skills, and obviously, the choice for the public becomes all the more difficult. No doubt the pre-election support for the final few is often close.

The contestants, give their solutions to address the nation's current problems, which seem innumerable for their standing of America being the greatest nation of the world. Most people in India would not give damn about health insurance, global warming. illegal immigration and the failure of Pakistani government. For a nation this advanced, it must really be taking hell of a time for the politicians to invent problems in order to appeal to the masses. Global warming happens to be one such extremely successful invention which is here to stay for perpetuity. After all, who needs politicians when there are no problems. Who knows, probably they are one of them.

The general tendency of the contestants was to touch the emotional chord of the masses. A typical speech begins with reminding the citizens, of their country being the greatest in the world. Figures suggested include 47% of the Americans not being covered by the expensive health insurance required to protect them from the exorbitant healthcare expenses. Unemployment is at an all-time high of 5% (lol !! I am sure it must have been their choice to remain so). Human race is at the verge of extinction thanks to global warming. Gasoline guzzling SUV's and pickups are scheduled to go thirsty from 2020. Dollar is experiencing a new low every month and mortgage crisis deems ever persistent. With such myriad of problems, I am in serious doubt, as to whether my stay in the US is worth a while.

In a state of depression, it however felt so relieving and proud to hear the word 'India' every now and then, irrespective of whether it was out of appreciation or contempt. Surely the 'shining' and 'rising' India has created enough ripples to reach to reach every corner of the world and clearly more than enough to concern the White House. All this at a time when I am at the wrong side of the line.

Deja vu

2007-12-30T19:52:00.000-05:00

There is already so much information about this phenomenon that my blog on this is undoubtedly redundant. However, I presume that this might be of some use to people who have accidentally tripped over to visit my blogpage AND (as in logical operator) have never ever tried to delve into this not so important topic.

Dictionary.com (Sorry!! I don't own an Oxford's concise any more) states it as "The illusion of having previously experienced something actually being encountered for the first time".

The Thesaurus.com manages to extricate just one alternate term for this, namely - illusion. Since, it already involves the term 'illusion' in it, it rules out the option of this being an actual possibilty. Hence, I formally do not approve of this definition.

Though a staggering 70% of the people in this world have experienced this, it was not until 1876 years after the birth of Christ added to the years before them, that Dr.Emile Boirac coined this term. There are an astounding 40 theories, excluding those of mine (a fraction of which are mentioned in this blog) have been propounded by famous psychologists including the god, Sigmund Freud (of whom I am a big fan).

So what is deja vu exactly? The theories broadly fall into two categories, the scientific ones (rational and meaningful) and the spiritual (no comments) ones. In order to warm up, and also to avoid the reader from veering away from this page, let us begin with the latter. Let me remind, before we begin, that none of these have my support. Nevertheless, I have gone through the painful task of browsing through them, just for the sake of completeness. The first one (not necessarily the most important) is the one regarding reincarnation. All those souls with unfinished business, which otherwise should have been ghosts, are reborn in this torturous world to experience deja vu. For further details, I suggest you watch 'Karan Arjun' and 'Sooryavanshi'.

Another theory, which is slightly more palatable is one involving the mismatch of timing between the spirit and the self. Much like a pirated movie disc where the scenes and voices don't match. According to this theory the spirit visits the space ahead of the self. One more theory goes like this: these are messages in the form of visions from god. By God, the world is really not doing very well even with the so many visionaries around.

Lets, quickly jump over to the rationality. Most of these are adapted from the web and I apologize for not listing references. In most cases the phenomenon was referred to, as a psychological disorder. I bet it is neither fatal, not hereditary and in no way a threat to the society. One of them being the mixup of the brain, over the short term and the long term memories. One another being neuronal malfunction. A very convincing theory is about the recording capabilty of visual stimulus of one eye being superior over the other's. However this miserably fails to explain the case of acoustic and sensual deja vu. Apparently, in one of the experiments, the scientist displayed imges the subjects, for subliminally short durations, but long enough for the brain to capture them. In such cases the concious part of the brain does not completely record the image but is able to recollect from its volatile memory, when the image is shown again. The same logic applies to the perceptions of sound.

I myself, in the days of extreme boredom, like the ones I am going through now, have tried to propound theories about certain mysterical phenomena, one of the topics being this. I confess of having such experiences ever since I don't remember, even before my English (Deja vu, however, is a French term) was good enough that I came to know that such a term existed. One very plain and simple reasoning and often a very powerful one when you are cornered, is the 'coincidence technique'. It is highly possible that of all the zillions of imaginations your brain picturises, a handful of them happen to come true.

It is also possible that in an euphoric state of mind the mind percieves what it wants to. Many might have seen religious events or occasins when a devotee jumps out of joy with great vigour beyond their normal capabilities. This is often interpreted as the embodiment of god inside his body. Deja vu could be one of such phenomena.

One another theory of mine, whcih I would henceforth refer to as 'layering' was inspired by Photoshop. Similar to the making of an image layer by layer, the brain at any point of time could superimpose layers of images stored in the long term memory over a long period of time to obtain a unique combination which coincidentally happens to be one the being percieved now. Take for example, you were driving a car sometime and another situation when you have been travelling along the coast, may be walking or in a bus. The next time you drive along a scenic beach, your brain forms a collage of the past two events which may fit close to the current situation.

Before, we close this topic, one extreme bizarre imagination of mine goes like this. This explanation is again, restricted again only to the visual deja vu. Since all that we see at any moment of time are just rays of light. It may happen, in a one in a zillionth probable case that rays from the same x,y,z coordinate escape afer reflections from smooth reflectors, into space and return back after infinite reflections on smooth reflectors back to the same x,y,z coordinate but much ahead in the time coordinate where you are,at the moment. It might seem to you as a vision or day dream, but this place happens to be the same and you experience the feeling which we now call deja vu. Totally unacceptable, to the extent that the spiritual explanations may seem more true, but, still rational.

Like many other blogs of mine, this one again comes with a disclaimer: The theories which I claim to be mine are originally mine. It is highly possible that alike thinkers have published these independently, but is unfortunately not to my knowledge. Kindly, ignore this 'act of coincidence'.

Herbivorous extinctus..

2007-11-29T19:01:00.000-05:00

In the race between the herbivore and carnivore, who wins. Undoubtedly the latter. Certainly I am not referring to the ecological system but rather my own multiple gastronomic syndrome. I was raised in a family of theists of the extreme variety. A key tenet of their belief is the act of restricting their food content to plant produce (with the exception of milk, of course). It was obvious for me to follow their footsteps and to remain a veggie. Every attempt in my early lifetime was made to make me meet the prerequisite of being a bramhin, which included references to afterlife as a chicken or a fish among the most puerile ones to even suicide threats (which I am certain was hollow). But then, never did they realize their folly of discounting the edibility of the transient comestible, viz. the egg. In fact I was so much into their postulate that I could not imagine myself tasting egg-till one day when I realized the delight of the soft omelette melting into my mouth. And that was the beginning of my endless journey in the path of tasting those amazing creatures nature has bestowed upon us for the purpose of satisfying none other than our taste buds.

Before I continue with the discussion the behavior of my family members definitely warrants some explanation. One of the popular theories (none other than my own) is the economical background of my forefather bramhins (who most certainly would have now been reborn and may be even died as plants, because they had consumed them). Their profession was to impart education, in most cases, for free (how idiotic!!) and to live on the alms donated by the kind people who availed their service. But since the kindness of the society decreased exponentially, so did the alms. Obviously chicken and meat would be the last things people would give away. The only way to escape the humiliation is to propose a rule-a rule which prohibited all in the category from consuming n0n-veggie. Quite shrewd on their part, but the consequences have been far fetched and deadly. It not only sparked off the veg-non veg debate but also created one more faction into the already shattered society. But the worst among all of them was the deprivation of my birthright to feast on some of the most sumptuous dishes (sigh!).

Nonetheless, logic took over my hypocrisy and finally I was enlightened to the carnivorous world. But my greatest regret still remains the inability to accept the dish without hesitation. After all these years of being imprisoned in the cage, I have lost my ability to fly. This transition might take time but eventually it will happen. And I am desperately looking forward to the day when I would be able to relish each of those savories.

Disclaimer: If you are a member of my family or the next of kin, you will be delighted by the fact that the above blog is a figment of my imagination and has absolutely no reason to upset you (I am sure this explanation has not satisfied you).

Mastery of Science or Slavery??

2007-11-11T20:12:00.000-05:00

There are several reasons I decided to come to America. I would be bold, in fact rather shameless to state Why. Firstly, there was, and is, so much hype about this country. Of course, I would be doing injustice if I deny its greatness. However, there are so many things I miss back home. Secondly, I was fed up of being a mediocre guy, working in a mediocre company, in a mediocre position. I had to escape from this mediocrity somehow. Coming to America was one of the ways. To be precise, it was the easiest of all the possible ones. I was so much used to being a loser that I could not write one decent resume which could bag me a job shift. Thirdly, it was becoming too difficult to observe my mates in the IT industry minting money just using ten fingers. And here I was, as they say in US, "working my ass off" , earning a paltry sum. Everytime I logged in my Orkut friends list page would scream out locations from all over the world. Further, I had put in three years (yes!! you read it right) of hard work to memorize 4000 of those godforsaken words from Barrons, just to end up earning an unmentionable score in my GRE back in my college days. I had to put that to some use. Lastly, I "used to like Mechanical Engineering".

Before you read any further, as they do in the beginning of certain movies, let me warn all those Master's in US aspirants, that the following opinion is my personal one to the entirety and I honestly have no intentions of discouraging the hopeful ones, whatsoever. During the four years of my undergraduate course in mech, irrespective of whether I actually devoted as much time to it as it deserved, I had developed a liking for it. At least, to an extent that I voted it supreme over all other branches of engineering. This attitude of mine often resulted in arguments lasting hours together. I know Mr.Bedant would agree. But now, I might not be so enthusiastic about defending it.

For the first time in my life, I am made to sit in the class with each period lasting a minimum of 100 minutes.My life time highest. For the first time in my life, I stare at the blackboard as blankly as I would have, had I taken up a course on the works of Milton. For the first time in my life I am made to do homework every week, three times over. For the first time in my life, I feel I am really wasting my time doing this. Never have I attended classes in my life where I fail to understand a single thing. Continuum mechanics is one such subject. It falls more into the category of deductive mathematics than Mech. Of course, totally devoid of numbers. Only symbols with absolutely no physical interpretations.Unfortunately that forms the base for any education in Mech, at least, so the knowledgeable say. I see, IITians in the class who are doing cutting edge research in Mechanical Engineering-studying the flow of lymphocytes in blood stream. I am open to criticisms on ignorance, but I always boasted of mech being a branch for the guys, of machines, of structures, the Mega among all engineering. I sometimes feel, I was rather well off tightening nuts and bolts for L & T.

Mistakes once made are pardonable, but not the second time. I have learnt a lesson that whatever happens, Ph.D is certainly not going to be my future. Of course, this course does open the gateway to innumerable opportunities, ones I could only dream of, had I continued as before. At least, that is what I can expect, since I see people happy while going to work and not while coming back. As they say, most discoveries occur by accident :)

In the land of Uncle Sam...

2007-10-20T21:21:00.000-04:00

Owing to curtailment of my mobility in the most technically advanced country, or in other words, due to the lack of a good transport system, which otherwise would have become redundant (since, everybody has a car), the unfortunate few, especially me, are restricted to staying indoors on a pleasant weekend such as this. One productive consequence of such ennui happens to be this blog.

I was well prepared to be awestruck once I landed. Of course I was. I was not sure as to whether the person who was about to pick me up will be present.My mind was busy contemplating what the next course of action should be. Eventually, it turned out that it was unnecessary. Usually bad at paperwork, I reconfirmed my clumsiness by dropping my passport (a.k.a. lifeline) umpteen number of times. Though I was pretty sure that all my baggage would have arrived, I was proved wrong. Thanks to Murphy. However, after a thorough GOOGLE search of the airport, I found it abandoned near a pillar. I will skip through the irritating section of formalities and forward the story to the point where I emerged victorious out of the airport with all my papers clear and my passport still with me.

Upon reaching the Interstate highway, I had a realization. This one might not be widest in America but certainly, it was the no.1 I had ever seen in my life. Trucks and cars and what not, whizzed past us, neglecting the existence of our tiny vehicle. After about a 30 min drive (roughly a conversion of 30 miles) we reached the quaint city of Highland Park, which, of course, had lesser resemblance of a city and more of town. But, nevertheless, since Uncle Sam calls it a city, I will stick to the nomenclature.

As days went by, overlooking the chitchats of the story I have made certain conclusions regarding this country.This is a country, where, at any point of time, an observer would see more cars than people.The culture of walking is simply not detectable. However, people do jog, and that, could be at any time of the day or night. Believe me, it could be at 2 in the morning or 2 in the afternoon. The reasoning for the former could be - that cars are cheaper (no doubt a second hand worn out one) than a laptop; gas (not as in lpg but as in petrol) is cheaper than milk. Further to that, coke is cheaper than water. You do not see people spitting or peeing on roads. Not because you fear the 'mamu', but just because people don't.

You can also see the garbage area clean, and you may find couches, tables, microwaves, televisions trashed. Not because they are dysfunctional, but rather,because newer models have been launched. All buses are air conditioned with their doors automated.Fortunately for me, all Rutgers buses are free. You need a SSN to get a job but you must have a job to apply for a SSN. Cash is not a very good mode of transaction; plastic (credit card) is!! You hardly see any unemployment, because 'HELP' is wanted in almost all establishments at all times.

Since, you do not have enough people for all the work, the country is left with little alternative than to automate almost everything. Taps, flush, gas stations,doors and every possible thing you can imagine. So much to save the energy in your body at the expense of the energy of the natural resources. However, everybody is a fitness freak, and the average size of an American should be at least twice that of an Indian (p.s. I am referring to the overall build and not the height or weight).

A spillover of the conservation of energy applies to the conservation of intelligence of the brain. Until you are an undergraduate, you probably never know that Newton ever walked on this Earth. What I mean to say is Newton's Laws are introduced in an undergraduate course. However, I fail to understand their stupendous transition from undergraduate to a postgraduate. Students do not multiply a two digit number with another similar one in their mind. They do it faster than you using a calculator. In case, you do it earlier, they pop the question "How could you do that?"

All my criticism and cynicism apart, you work only for five days a week till 5 pm everyday and a 'weekend' is a weekend to the strictest meaning of the name. Everybody has the courtesy to say Hi!- irrespective of whether they know you or not. Women wear skimpy clothes but men don't stare at them lewdly. In cases where the doors are not automated, people hold the doors open for those who are following them. Above all, if and only if, you have an income here, the cost of living here is much lower than that in India. Deer roam around my house in contrast with cats and dogs in India. Geese and swallows replace our well known crows.

There is a lot more to write; unfortunately at this moment hunger has overcome my passion to write. I will have to grab a quick bite before I sit with my homework- something I have never done in my life so far but do it three times over every week at this time when I feel, I am too old for stuff like that. And lastly, Yes! I cook!!

One month @ call center

2007-08-15T02:19:00.000-04:00

This post was supposed to come quite some time ago, but the following event so thoroughly overshadowed this one of the best (though certainly not the best) times of my life that, its consequence was this minor delay.

The very reason that compelled the Orient to believe that India had taken a giant leap on its transformation from being the "The Land of Snake Charmers" to a "Country of Call Centers" inspired me to explore this, so much talked-about profession. And, all this came exactly at a time when I was looking forward to a radical change in my life, whence I was desperate to make the most out of it. I would say it not only met my expectations but at instances even made it a a a "wow" experience, as the jargon goes.

Despite my attempts to work for a very short duration with small local call centers, I somehow landed up into a multi billion dollar BPO; all thanks to the cute chic in the consultancy, who was more concerned with the small monetary gain that she could earn for her company, rather than caring about how much either me or WIPRO could lose. Yes of course, she deserves a big thanks from my part as I, eventually stood to gain.

Wipro BPO thoroughly defied my paradigms of what call centers were. It was an out and out professional company with a really tough entry procedure, and with a surprisingly more or less efficient and veritable HR, skilled trainers and last but certainly not the least, a great crowd. The variety of people who were selected (apart from the ones who were aspiring for a career in the field) ranged from Engineers to Computer Application Specialists to future Accountants to Museologists and what not.

Almost of all of them came from respectable,well educated families who were willing to allow their daughters to not only work through the night, but also to the extent of witnessing even an unknown vehicle to pick them up from their homes,very often well past midnights. The career did look promising and high paying down the line, attached with the luxury of being spared of attending calls in as early as an year after joining.

But I would honestly be doing injustice if I do not mention the training which delighted me beyond my expectations-frankly, because there wasn't anything at all that it expected of me during the period. Rather, it consisted of occasional parties, movies and of course, all the sarcasm, taunts, whispers, scandals and gossip. Different. Arguably individuals might point out that this is nothing in comparison with what great companies offer but rationally it is not the amount of materialistic gain but rather the pleasure which really matters.. at least to me.. whatsay??

IDP @ Kolkata == MI

2007-07-28T09:20:00.000-04:00

I knew that the govt agencies were corrupt but was very rarely made aware of the same in my lifetime. On my attempt to apply for IDP I was left at least agahst if not dumbstruck.

For once this time I set out to walk on the path of righteousness when I marched into the PVD fondly called the Motor Vehicles in Kolkata very soon to be greeted by hordes of hoodlums or dalals, self proclaimed as brokers or agents. I trode the path less travelled (assuredly alone) with a stiff indifferent face who was determined to achieve what he had come for, without an intention to take any external impressed favors from the mercenaries.

They immediately presented a MCQ of whether I wanted a new license or a renewal etc. but certainly nobody asked for an idp. Probably i wasnt looking like somebody who could go for one. I went directly into the building which was no less than a maze. When I was sure I was lost and had no more than one dalal on my trail I politely told him that I was there for an idp.

Despite me being the customer his condescending look made me feel i was nowhere "right" (as the customer is outght to be). "Kiske liye chahiye" he shot, as if I was transparent and he could see through me. I asserted it was of course me. He said the procedure was simple (as any other procedure was) and he could hand it over to me by evening the same day.

Now since good things come at a price I just was just curious what this small favor of his would cost me?? "4000 ka to apko thappa mara hua slip hi mil jayega; upar se sirf aur 4 lagega". Sometimes this word "only is so much more irritating than "sorry" I get confused as to rank which one as the superior in the list. I said I would need a second opinion which in this case would be the primary one: the one at the counter.

Now this dalal, was more than happy to lead me to the appropriate counter which ideally opens at 11:00 am. He gave me that " in counter ke saare raste mud ke mere hi pas ate hai" look and said "yahan ghoos ke bina kuch nahi hota". This being a govt office which would be painted once in a century had its walls turned into virtual spitoons where people had made every attempt to cover each inch red to the height they could reach.

I had no option but to turn to help to the unconcerned constable careful not to interrupt his busy schedule chewing his "khaini". But he betrayed his looks and was polite enough to tell me that "Tapan da" is the person in charge and since it was close to 11:00 am he must be arriving anytime. I could see some light at the end of the tunnel . Thereafter I waited for a relatively short time: exactly 45 min following the scheduled time when the sahab arrived with a stature no less than an emperor. The constable was good enough to warn me not to disturb the sahab for the next 2 mins since he had just arrived.

With an earnest decent and helpless look I approached the sahab and showed my existing Tamil Nadu license and just had been able to utter the word "IDP" when he blurted "yahan nahi hoga". That was enough to piss me off and make me walk back to my home with embarressing boo boos behind my back. I could distinctly hear the dalals comment "Kya bhai license mil gaya kya??"

The King of the Road...

2007-04-13T02:49:00.000-04:00

If you, readers are expecting a saga of a biker or a F1 speedster, then I am extremely sorry for disappointing you for this blog has no relation whatsoever with such stuff. I, quite often, do not ratify with the adage quoting an idle mind being equivalent to a Devil's Workshop. At least in my case it turns out to be an event which etches permanent records in my memory.

After a full day of sweltering sultry heat, when, as they say, the "universe conspires" to punish you with the worst assignments, directly exposed to Amon-Ra's wrath the entire afternoon, yesterday's evening came as a great relief to me. Quite in line with mathematics, which says that after each maxima the function value has to decrease in a given interval, bad times are definitely followed by comparitively delightful times.

It was this year's first rain accompanied by strong winds and what more could I ask for when you have been stressing your grey matter the entire day imagining all possible ways of killing time. No prizes for guessing the most obvious solution in my case-food. So I decide to set myself a challenging adventurous target of procuring hot crispy 'vada' -a perfect consumable in such a weather.

So I put on my raincoat (imagining it to be an armor for a knight on his way to the warfront), the same one which I had bought to battle the rains in Mumbai last year. Of course I could not get maximum utilization because by that time the monsoons had already quite finished off the job leaving the brief continuous drizzles to the winds (reminds me of mad bosses in LnT).

By the time I had reached the Cross-cut road after going through the test runs of my coat through narrow lanes where winds could barely squeeze through, the lashings and lightenings had perhaps reached the peak. With streams of water putting in their complete effort to shake my bravery my determination to achieve my target was only reinforced. I walked through the centre of the road, where I would have been crushed like a tomato (refer Lappu) on a normal day. The exhilarating feeling was only amplified with the sight of people scampering to the fringes of the footpath whereas the center was occupied by the King- The King of the Road. I was feeling no less than the God King-Xerxes (chuckle).

But since all good things have to come to an end, all my delight was shortlived as the rains started dying a quick death, much quicker than I expected. And of course, even the 'vada' was a real letdown- far far below the ISO standards. But I have to accept the overall package was quite satisfying.

Divination..Aha

2007-04-02T10:19:00.000-04:00

What do you think they should have been had they not been "destined" to be astrologers/palmists or the lot in the cadre.. psychologists, I guess. Hypocritically, a non beleiver of future telling, I eventually gave up resisting the temptation to know what future has in store for me when this smart chap comes over to us in the car parking on a fine friday afternoon. I should blame it entirely upon my colleague who was too eager to escape from office as if two days in a weekend were a bit too less for person that busy.

"50 rupees is all that I ask for, to provide all the information you must know", says this guy. "20 rupees and no more" was my only answer. Alas, since the FM fails to do his duty properly I am bound to use my tactics to curb inflation. I finally give in when he strikes the iron exactly when it is red hot," A girl whom you don't love loves you" he interjects, precisely at the moment I decided to call it off and exit from the mall. Let me underscore that had it not been the persistance of my colleague, I would definitely have not been that gullible.

Within next 5 minutes he told me enough stuff that my ears wanted to hear and frankly, I would have been more than happy to reward him with 50 more. On our way back my colleague asks me, " What did he project?" By the time, I had repeated playing the tape to him, I was back on earth from Cloud 9 as if , there had been tiny holes in the parachute from which I was just relishing the birds eye view.

His predictions were:
1.Your life line suggests you are going to strike a century- I guess no guy even in his crackiest state of mind would suggest you would be lucky if you touch 50.
2.In your future you will never see dearth of money. You will have enough money to buy all you want as well as save all you want- Ha ha.. had he said otherwishe he would still have been paid 50; except that the currency would have been in paisa.
3.In a short while you will be going to America- Come on, who dosen't want to hear that.Though in 'hammer-sickle' profession I would not be boasting if I said I was looking a softie guy. No prizes for guessing that US calls in short time. Though his reasoning was different he somehow did meet the requirement his profession demands-coinicidence.
4.You are not quite happy with your job. You get paid much lesser than you deserve-Dont imagine denying it. I have just loaded my gun.

Now it was my turn to prove him wrong. "Enough of my future. Now tell me about my past" I shot out expecting he would never anticipate this stunner. But sorry boss, the show ain't yet over. Not the least baffled, he coolly replies " You recently met with an accident were you escaped unscathed though you should ideally had been amidst fairies now." Smart one. He must surely have seen the bloody colleague driving into the mall. With enemies like him driving the car, you face the situation every other day, if not daily.

Finally, when I felt I had had enough to entrance me into rosy dreams, much like pluto when he smells a bone, I decided to vasool the last few paisas of the 50 bucks I happily paid-"Describe the female you were just talking about".
"In less than 2 weeks you will meet this girl with name starting with S and initials R" said he after examining my palm with all the concentration he could feign, as if all was printed in bold on those sweaty hands of mine. Guys beleive it or not, less than a day down the line I had an friendship request in our very own Orkut from a female named Sangeeta Rao. I was almost about to take back my judgement about this fraud when 'fortune'ately the rational part of me shook me back to my senses.

Let me tell you guys, beware of these people, 'coz they are really too good, literally. They study individuals carefully and are capable to extract enough information required to keep their business rolling. And if you guys really are morons you would pay no heed to my words. Despite the direct offense intended, each one of you will still go to a astrologer, when you are going to get married, love or arranged, irrespective.

Ah yes! If you are still wondering as to what happened to the "They happily lived ever after" story of me and Sangeeta; Sorry to disappoint but I declined the friendship of "my fair lady" :-)

The Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omni...

2007-03-25T08:45:00.000-04:00

For those who know me decently well, know that I my character closely resembles that of an atheist. I am not against the idea of religion and gods but only feel that it is not important for one to venture into that dimension of thought. The concept of an external superpower begins with the in-explainability of facts. Religion has a beginning wherever there is an end to the road of reasoning. Even the most qualified people on earth at times make up their mind to beleive things or events which defy the basic laws of science and conservation. And sadly enough, once minds are made up the senses feel what they want to- eyes see what they desire, ears hear what they want to hear, so on and so forth.

"Just imagine, how you escaped from the accident while all others on board died". "It was mere grace of the almighty that you got through the test". Thoughts like these are undoubtedly most convincing. But I beleive are all incidences are just individual decisions-a matter of free will. If I would have been god (god forbade :)) the last thing I would do is mess up with free will. I guess any sensible god will definitely stick to that. So instead of saying god saved you from the accident, why cant we say-it was the drivers decision at the nick of time, the perfect road and wind conditions and of course your own decision in synergy that the event resulted in avoidance of collision between you and the vehicle.

I know I must be extremely clumsy in giving examples but the bottomline is things would have still worked the very same way had all humans been rational/atheists. I would lable the animals, bacteria and such so called lesser living beings as paragons, because on a rough guess, all of them must still have not evolved yet to discover the idea of god. They live just to survive, enjoy, please their bodies and minds and thats all.

For once, I hope all would at least agree that the more mankind is evolving, religion is doing more harm rather than help. Possibly because it is very easy to mould religion to your needs and make it work to your advantage. Things in the world just happen and literally it is a serious waste of time evaluating aftermath of happenings. An event occurs becuase of the cumulative effect of 'n' causes due to either individual decisions or action of natural forces that apply universally.

Return to innocence..

2007-03-03T03:44:00.000-05:00

One after affect of some fellow inventing the remote control and lots of other guys adding to the plethora of TV channels is, to make the user (read: me) impatiently flick from one channel to another meaninglessly attempting to view of all of them and end up watching none. On a recent rare occasion, I managed to hang on to one of the lesser known channels on which was running one of the "oblivionized" B or C grade hindi movies. Surprisingly and unexpectedly the movie had enough content to teach me a lesson or two.
There is something that most of us in cities lack- innocence, it is. The transition from innocence to smartness is undetectable with mental growth of an individual and unfortunately both attributes are mutually exclusive. A harsh way of defining the flip side of smartness is, to gain at the expense of somebody else's loss. Think over it, it's true.
Most wont agree, but, to relish the beauty of anything with an impartisan outlook, the pre-requisite is innocence. One has to get rid of all precast notions about the individual or object.
For example, you have to assume that cockroaches are beatiful if you ever try tasting it. Try correlating with the innocence of the character "Forrest Gump", "Mr.Krrissh" or even "Mr.Shirke" (ref: Sorry for the Interruption @MTV) closer home, for that matter.Wonderful-Ain,t it.
Sad, how much ever I practise, the return to innocence is very much irreversible.

Factions Innumerable..

2006-11-12T01:30:00.000-05:00

"Unity in Diversity"-My foot. The last thing that Indians are is "United". I am here to testify to this objection because I have tasted both the saccharine and caffeine of the phenomenon. Is just residing alongside being united.. I would rather say it is as good as two prisoners in adjacent cells.

Kolkata, where I have spent a good part of my life is a home to unaccountable Biharis, Punjabis, Marwaris, Gujratis and what not else, among the disgruntled Bengalis. Each group contributes very efficiently to every other's proseperity/survival. That is probably why there is a very remote possibility of somebody not being able to survive in Kolkata - very much like Mumbai. However each group complains against the other's either money making attitude/labour force/all brawn and no brains/lazy and absence of work culture etc etc.-all overlooking their overwhelming positive attributes. Even if one has to disown why does it have to refer to a group rather than a person??

A good attempt to erase such differences was seen in some institutes which have the procedure of admitting students from each and every state of India. All differences evident during the admission seem to surprisingly vanish by the time the students are about to pass out. The effect is however superficial. I can guarantee that in at least ninety percent of the cases, people continue to remain friends with members of the same group - a group formed on the basis of "language". This demarcation is created right from the event of "welcome" and is reinforced till the "farewell".

In fact, this demaracation becomes extremely conspicuous when the division is between the north and the south. Beginning from the Aryan-Dravidian faction, the four southern states of India somewhat quarantine themselves from the rest of the country. In North, West and the East the divide seems marginally less visible because of slight similarities in the language which make them at least manageable. So much so, that the transition from North to South is abrupt and the great wall remains unscalable.

On a broader scale it is not the religion but rather the language which is bigger divider. It is extremely shameful that despite the circumstances, government shun the concept of universal language viz Hindi and English on National and Global levels respectively. That too on baseless pretexts of preserving culture. It is communicability which promotes unity and compatibility. After all, however hard we try, it is only this earth that we have to live till the end.

Dagwood my idol..

2006-08-27T04:09:00.000-04:00

Am I lazy?? Am I procrastinative?? Thats what people around tell me. I don't beleive a word they say. Really. Okay! May be they are partially(literally partisanly) correct. Everybody is like that. Why blame only me? Fine, at least all these people in my vicinity are like that. Yes, that is precisely why there has been such an inductive effect on me. I, however, stick to my earlier stand that I am a man of punctuality, timeliness and perfect systematism.

On second thoughts, It is actually better this way. Why do I have to slog down all the way to the deadline. Afterall as the word suggests, you are alive till the deadline and my philosophy is "Live as long as you are alive". So if you have to do something which you hate to do, that's not life. Why not trade moments of complete enjoyment and complete misery with moments of partial misery.

Still not convinced. Okay let me refer to something scientific..making the idea a bit more digestible. Our very own 2nd Law of Thermodynamics states the same thing which I have been trying to stuff through your heads so long. In layman's language (Seriously, I don't intend to convey you are one) if you could draw out more results with least resources you are more efficient. Think about it, I am talking about the most significant resource..time. If I am able to perform slightly less work in a comparitively much less time, I still remain more efficient.

And beleive me people who still have the opinion that I am inefficient, I have proved yet again that you are wrong. My suggestion is try going through worst case situations once in a while (all those who do not have the tenacity of tolerating it every time! Unlike me) it is really fun. Yet again:

"There is no fun in having no work to do; there is actually fun in having lots of work and not doing it"

Blase-an utopia

2006-07-09T02:13:00.000-04:00

Argumentative that i am, unfortunately, i had once come across a friend who put forward the question, "What is your ultimate aim in your life?" At the first instant, the answer seemed simple. "Money", I blurted out. "Given that you now have all the money you could dream of spending and yet be left over with a cache, what next?" was his immediate question. Still bearing his persistance
I said " No work to do, or rather say i am in an island with a hammock under a shady tree etc.", i replied stretching my imagination. "Its yours, what next". Annoyed a bit , though trying to avoid that expression on my face," A girl" I snapped, trying to put an end to this seemingly never ending conversation.

Surprisingly, the conversation did not end. Rather it went on, adding to the list of innumerable needs a young guy could ever ask for. This particular interview of mine went on until my not-so-thoughtful mind rushing ahead was made to screech as though brakes had been applied to a speeding car. He shot the question,"what do you actually derive from all this?". He did not wait for my answer. "Is it not pleasure that you are asking for?"

On a retrospective, I have possessed almost all that i had once thought would bring me all the plesure. I have my money now, not a very big amount, though, I barely am able to spend one third of what i earn. Yet I want more.When I come across people earning more, I feel disgusted. For about three months in a row, I was free from any work, not even the slightest. I was bored to death and I longed desperately to get back to at least some work. At work, I got placed in a good Indian company. I
grumbled of not being in an mnc.

In short, pleasure is like the mirage of an oasis. It just seems a mile away. But as soon as you cross the mile, it still is a mile away.

All this might sound liek a vent off from a thoroughly frustrated guy. Expressing that you are loser is not an end to the woes. Rather the truth is, this further craving for pleasure is the only reason for mankind's progress. Unless a scientist looks for further pleasure from a future invention, he would not give a damn about a new one. Had one not asked for more money, man would forever have stuck to the barter system.

Definitely, as each mile is of the journey is crossed pleasure does come like a relieving spray on a hot day. But the bloody thing lasts only a moment. Even before we can experience the pleasure, we worry about what will happen when the pleasure is no longer there. A remedy is, once a while look down at people who are even less fortunate and derive some relative pleasure. I am not suggesting that you take up a sadistic approach. But just be happy that,you, by some reason are not in his shoes.

Satisfaction..nah you are joking!!

2005-10-28T11:19:00.001-04:00

absurd it is..no doubt there could not be a worse topic to write upon.. thts the feeling that is pricking me as i type in every word here.. but i still go on punching on the keyboard aggravating the dissatisfaction every time.. satisfaction is something that i am dying to achieve..probably no other achievement falls above it and is actually rendered meaningless in the absence of it..
when i was 8 yrs and started to understand the world i was quite happy that my school, unlike others did not burden me with studies.. that happiness kept me ahead in class.. but maturity killed it all.. the envy of the "more mature" enjoying liberties in high school always infused the dissatisfaction.. i grew up some time later to fall into the "more mature" category... quite surprisngly there was no end to my agony.. the college goers were obviously better off when i had to strive to get into a good university which would paint a rosy future for me.. and once the painting is complete i touch down upon utopia... the train of time takes me to the next station of my life.. let me tell you if the great mathematicians drew a graph of satisfaction vs time for my life then they are sure to look for the maxima in this range.. yet at i wont call them mad if they searched the minimas too in this brief period.. einstien is correct on this sole point.. time does not pass at equal rates.. and beleive it or not this 20% of the time of my life lasted less than a meagre 2% for me.. is it because of the glimpses of complacency that i cherished during this time.. let us leave analysts to answer that.. to be continued